I am peculiar
or just plain; weird
There are no doubts to that.
At times, I myself am weirded out by my own peculiarity.
Truth be told, my oddity makes it seem to me that if I were to be estranged or alienated by others, I should not feel unfamiliar or perplexed about it.
...sometimes astonishes me, at the same time, weirds me out.
Not that I don't appreciate them! I do! I really do! I'm really really grateful to have met them all! It's just.. a lil weird, that's all. Seeing as normally, most people would avoid being with a person that others consider as "weird".
It makes me think how kind and considerate they are to have one big of a heart that is willing enough to withstand my utmost outrageousity, which is most of the time, mind you.. though sometimes my mind would tend to make up crazy ideas, just for fun, like maybe it could be that they like to hang out with me because they are just as weird as me.. hahaha
However, I believe that the reason most probably be the former one compared to the latter, for sure. At least my heart believe so.
My heart would waver at times though. What if they get bored of me? What if one day they'll find that my strangeness is too overwhelming and leave me because of it, just like that?
Due to that, I tried to change, numerous times, gazillion times in fact, just to be what people would call "normal". But I somehow would always manage to revert back to being myself in the end.
It's because they just made me feel so comfortable of just being ME.
Just like a family, but not exactly. Nevertheless, a peculiar blessing, indeed. :)
PS: Ya Allah, mung ade exam esok Hannah! What the heck are you doing on the blog!!! v(ಥ ̯ ಥ)v