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Monday, January 21, 2013


Hence, my first sem as a TESOL-ian in USM has ended at last. I don't know if I did good or bad for my final exam, I don't believe I did quite well though but what's past is past. Truth be told, I wouldn't say I like much studying in USM actually; note, only the study part. I like USM, really, it is a really good place to study in and Penang is awesome in its own way but I'm kinda finding it a lil bit difficult to catch up on my studies. Unlike in Tesl days, the lecturers like their students to be autonomous learners, and by autonomous, I meant it as in an extreme way. I don't really mind the idea because it is a good notion and I really believe it'll help the students for like A LOT in the future but I had expect the lecturers to assist us to be accustomed to the learning style at least for the first sem. Alas, NO. I'd thought wrong. They just went like 'BAM!' and expect us to be good at it from the start! Nevertheless, I wouldn't say it's anyone's fault but my own though, cause I guess, it is my own fault for not be able to adapt to it when everybody else could (or so I believe). I somehow miss my comrades who I had struggled with together, last time in my TESL days. It was so much more bearable and comforting to have comrades with you during your worst times. I wouldn't say I don't have any comrades here, but they aren't exactly in the same course as mine so they wouldn't feel much of my struggles as how I couldn't understand theirs. I somehow really believe that what had made my stay here in USM are probably due to a few people of whom I have befriended and food. Mostly food though. I'm so getting fat. So, I guess, I'll just have to try and be better next sem. Wish me a ton of luck and a spring full of guts to endure these next sem, guys!

Until then, au revoir USM til the day for the second sem begin!

Sunday, January 6, 2013


I am incapable of being the best in almost anything,
But I do try my very best in everything I do...

If I say so myself. :)

Seems like my mind keeps wondering off to somewhere else every time I wanted to study. It can also be considered as one of the inability of mine, per-say.. -_-"


Friday, January 4, 2013


I am not fond of changes.

I wouldn't mind if they were for the better...
But when they weren't,
It's just sad. 

Like food.
It's just wouldn't be the same. :(

PS: I don't know how the pic of the cat relates, but yeahhhh... moving onnnn..

A peculiar blessing. :)

I am peculiar





or just plain; weird

There are no doubts to that.

At times, I myself am weirded out by my own peculiarity. 

Truth be told, my oddity makes it seem to me that if I were to be estranged or alienated by others, I should not feel unfamiliar or perplexed about it.


because, I am just THAT uncommon.

I wouldn't find it weird if it did happen, maybe a lil sad, but definitely not weird. That's why the thought that there are people who knows about my abnormality but are still willing to be my side despite of it...

...sometimes astonishes me, at the same time, weirds me out.

Not that I don't appreciate them! I do! I really do! I'm really really grateful to have met them all! It's just.. a lil weird, that's all. Seeing as normally, most people would avoid being with a person that others consider as "weird".

It makes me think how kind and considerate they are to have one big of a heart that is willing enough to withstand my utmost outrageousity, which is most of the time, mind you.. though sometimes my mind would tend to make up crazy ideas, just for fun, like maybe it could be that they like to hang out with me because they are just as weird as me.. hahaha

However, I believe that the reason most probably be the former one compared to the latter, for sure. At least my heart believe so.

My heart would waver at times though. What if they get bored of me? What if one day they'll find that my strangeness is too overwhelming and leave me because of it, just like that?

Due to that, I tried to change, numerous times, gazillion times in fact, just to be what people would call "normal". But I somehow would always manage to revert back to being myself in the end.

Again why? 

It's because they just made me feel so comfortable of just being ME.

Just like a family, but not exactly. Nevertheless, a peculiar blessing, indeed. :)

PS: Ya Allah, mung ade exam esok Hannah! What the heck are you doing on the blog!!! v(ಥ ̯ ಥ)v